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Dian Aziz

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Sometimes [Aug. 3rd, 2014|04:56 am]
dianaziz

Sometimes I miss being single. I miss playing around with people's feelings and knowing that mine will never get hurt.

Sometimes I feel like being in a relationship is damaging to the heart because it requires so much effort to constantly love the same person for years. I miss pretending to care for others when I really don't.

Sometimes I want to be alone and away from you because I want to feel whole again. I want to be free of all of the constant arguing and I want to be happy.

Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm better off being alone forever.


Or sometimes I just want to stop you from loving me because it's not doing you any good.

That's an awful lot of 'Sometimes'.

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R, V [Jul. 22nd, 2014|01:25 am]
dianaziz

I don't know exactly when I've changed to be the person that I am now, but it's like I almost forgot who I used to be.

Before all of this, it was so easy making new friends everyday and having so many close friends. But lately it feels like I don't even care at all. And I just want to settle. With the people that I have in my life. I mean, if they cared to stay up until now then I guess that's long enough to prove that they won't leave. At least that's my theory.

Sometimes I miss the old, friendly me as opposed to the new, intimidating me. Sometimes I wana go back in time just to be that person again. To always feel loved and cared for by almost every of my friends. But I've come to learn that most of the people I shared relationships with weren't true friends. They really came and went.

I can't help myself but to think of them periodically, especially during times when I feel lonely as ever and they used to be there with me during those times. I've missed ya, R and V. Even though it doesn't seem like I do.

Thing is, I really thought we were the 3 that would always stick together regardless. But I guess things changed when I transferred schools. And that's where I learnt my lesson. Never be too dependent on friendships and the hope that comes along with it.

Love,
D.

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Au Revoir, 2013! [Jan. 4th, 2014|11:26 pm]
dianaziz

To most people, a new year means a new beginning. A much needed start from scratch after having sit through bad experiences in the past year. Having relationships with the wrong people, failing in academics, losing someone you love, not getting that extra bonus at the end of the year... Well, for me, it just simply means that I could get a brand new $30 luxury diary for the new year. One from Typo, which is of a tiffany blue colour and a gold heart shape metal which says '2014'. Yes, as you may have guessed it, every 31st December means nothing to me. No resolutions made, no goals to write down, no datelines in which to achieve them. However, for some reason, I find myself having nights out with F on new year's eve for 3 years now. I guess it's just the idea of enjoying the night just as much as everyone else and not be left out of the celebration.

I would like to say that I have had a great 2013. I got to visit the Krabi and the many beautiful islands around it, Bangkok and its shopping paradise, Kuala Lumpur three times with different groups of people, Bandung and its breathtaking view from Tangkuban Perahu, Melaka and its interesting culture. I am thankful for all of those experiences because I got to go through all of them with the ones I really care. That brings me to another reason why I love 2013. I made so many new friends and grew closer to some, but lost a few in the process as well. It doesn't matter much because those who care will stay and fight for what it's worth.

One of the bittersweet moments would definitely be the start of university life for me. It was a different culture altogether, so much different from polytechnic. I have completed only 6 months (1 semester) of uni and there's still a whole 2 years waiting for me. I have to admit that even though I am overwhelmed with all the non-stop school work, I am enjoying the process of it because I have the support of the most wonderful people in the world. My parents, who never fail to understand my lack of presence at home during exam periods. I tried my very best to be there for all birthday celebrations of my closest friends and was only absent for the less important ones with only school as an excuse. Yes, I may say that I hate school and all of that, but deep inside me I know that this is what's best for me.

And then there's Fauzy. My one and only, the one I love, my one true love. Maybe out of the 365 days in a year, I may have spent 3/4 of it with him. Go ahead and call us clingy but we can't help it. We go to the same school, we have the same timetables, we sit for the same exams, we have the same vacation dates. So of course we would be having breakfast before a lecture at 12, dinner after a lecture at 6, supper after a whole day of studying. I would never trade you for anything or anyone else in this world. You are my 2013, 2014, 2015... You are my everything. As cheesy as it may sound, I want to bring you in my heart for the rest of my life.

Oh yes, I do have a resolution. #iQuit if you know what I mean. Trying to be the best version of myself. Insyallah. :)

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We're on our way somehow, [Dec. 3rd, 2013|09:52 pm]
dianaziz


                                     

Hold me close close close
We're losing time time time
We're losing time time time
We're falling to the ground

LinkTell me what's wrong?

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